Feeling Melancholy..

So many emotions are going through my head right now. How do you overcome a feeling that you wish you weren't feeling but it just won't go away? How do you pick yourself up again when you feel like you can't get up? The only answers to these questions I can find is to lean on God and trust Him to pick me up and get me back on my feet.

Lately I've been humbled by God's power and absolute... well, mightiness. I thought that I knew what would be best for me. When I thought things weren't going the way they should've been, it's like I looked up to God and said, "God, things shouldn't be like this. I know what to do, let me have my way!" whilst stamping my foot on the ground like an insolent child. But thankfully God has humbled me, and I've thought to myself, who am I to think that I am better than God, which is really what I was saying? Who am I kidding. I don't know the first thing about what would be best for me. I have a very limited view of life, and it's very difficult, virtually impossible, to see the big picture. My perspective of life is like, looking through a keyhole. I realise now how pretentious I was being. To think that I knew better than God! Now I'm slowly learning to trust Him day by day, to trust that He has everything all planned out for me, and that ultimately, He knows what's best for me. What a great comfort.

I can cry all I want. I can, lie on my bed, kicking and screaming for all it matters, nothing's gonna change. In the end, I know that even though I can't see how, whatever happens is part of God's plan, and is what's best for me. I know that whatever bad times I go through aren't some sort of punishment from God.

I'm reminded that, when I feel like I'm all alone, that no one loves me, and that no one cares; I am not alone. Who else better to confide in, than the person that went through the ultimate suffering, that went through the ultimate rejection. I know that Jesus understands my pain, and surely that is a comfort to me.

..please pray for me.

How else but through a broken heart may Lord Christ enter in?
- Oscar Wilde