Oh no!

(sigh).. dreaded week to come before all these lovely things are happening like Retreat and RICE. Got some work to do before I can enjoy myself. Just all comes down to getting started. I have 3 assessment tasks, 2 of which I actually care about, and 1 of which involves watching 5 hours of children's tv. Fun? I think not.. although.. I might end up enjoying it.

I've seen Love Actually twice now. Borrowed it from Caro. Must say it's better the second time 'round. But now I understand why Debby wouldn't lend it to me.. lol. But.. if you disregard those bits.. then it's actually a pretty good movie. I absolutely LOVED Colin Firth in it.. he's just so adorable! And his story is so sweet! Love as a second language. Also thought Emma Thompson and Alan Rickman's story was sweet.. love lasts a lifetime. Liam Neeson was good in it too. Love the accent. And for once Hugh Grant played a decent fellow. And his girl was quite pretty despite being a bit chubby.. but i didn't think she was that chubby actually.

Amazing Race. Joyce shaving her head. Omgosh. She was really brave. I don't think any other girl in the competition would've done it. It really suited her though. I think she looked better without the hair! lol. I was nearly crying coz she was crying hehe.

I spent the whole day today bludging at home (even though I could've gone to school). I always feel guilty after bludging.. then I can't sleep... I get stressed.. end up studying pretty hard coz I'm afraid I'll fail or not get a good mark... get relatively good marks.. become over confident.. end up bludging away again... and so the cycle continues.

Got our reports on Wednesday. Feeling satisfied, pleased, & grateful. Most of my teachers talked me up so that's good. Surprising though. My maths teacher was pretty blunt and said that i could do better.. which is fair enough.. constructive criticism. Hmm.. must work equally hard this term (last term before HSC! yikes! *runs and hides*) but I'm still trying to find the balance between working really hard to get the top marks as opposed to doing whatever is required of me. I feel like it's second nature to me to work really hard coz i wanna get the top mark.. but at the same time i know that it's not everything. Should I make some changes to my attitude towards school? Is it wrong to have such desires? I can tell you it definately doesn't rule over my life.. but still? Do I need to reassess my motives and ambition?

Been a bit of a confusing week for me. I've been feeling a bit.. stretched.. or maybe.. torn is a better way to describe it. Don't wanna go into too much detail.. but yeah. It's been a bit weird. But I've been praying to God about it and I know he'll help me out somehow.